The Copy Cat Affair
by Erin Elric
Summary: Napoleon's and Illya's first mission together to stop THRUSH from creating an army of clones. Can the two set aside their differences in order to stop the threat?
1. Chapter 1

The Copy Cat Affair

Chapter one

Napoleon Solo glanced at his watch. The plane would be landing soon in Austria. He leaned back in his chair and glanced around. There wasn't any obvious THRUSH agents around but then again any talented help could blend in after all most people thought he was a simple business man traveling to Vienna. Little did they know he was a U.N.C.L.E agent about to destroy a THRUSH headquarters in the mountains.

He let out a small sigh as he heard the announcer informing them to brace for a landing. He glanced at his watch he was supposed to meet the newest U.N.C.L.E agent Illya Kuryakin at the hotel bar. The Russian had been working for a month or so for U.N.C.L.E and this would be his first mission working with him. He knew very little about the man other than he was Russian and not the friendliest man on the planet. All the same he was ready to deal with anything thrown at him be it a bunch of THRUSH agents or an unfriendly Russian, after all he could handle anything with his Solo luck.

The plane landed he got his bag and left the airport. He paid close attention to his surroundings making sure he was not followed. No one stood out at the moment that is other than a lady running the ticket station. He admired her gorgeousness wishing he was on vacation as he stepped outside of the airport to hail a taxi. He took the taxi to the hotel he checked in and had his bags taken to his room.

He walked into the hotel bar, music poured out of the room and there were people sitting around and eating, drinking and some were dancing. He scanned the room; he eyed a blonde man sitting by himself. He knew it was Illya, the Russian was busy ignoring almost everything around him and made brief eye contact with Napoleon. He walked over to him ordering himself a drink as he walked by a waitress.

"Mind if I sit here?" he asked the other man.

He glanced up at him. "No not all."

He realized that this was the first time he had talked to him since he started working for U.N.C.L.E "How is Vienna treating you?"

"Interesting. I am amazed by the amount of THRUSH in the area."

The waitress came by and gave them there drinks. "Yeah I had heard that there was a lot of THRUSH in this area this time of year."

The man nodded as he finished his drink. "I must be going I'm meeting an uncle outside."

He recognized the code words. Illya thought there was a THRUSH agent in the room he scanned the room as Illya left, no one stood out and no one watched him closely.

He gave Illya time to leave before he followed to prevent any suspicion. He finished his drink as he went to get up the waitress came by again.

"Would you like another one, sir?"

He shook his head. "Uh no thank you it was just a little night cap before bed."

"Oh." She picked up his glass and the other one. "I didn't see you with anyone else. Is it a lady friend?"

He shook his head again. "No someone I just happened to sit with. I don't have a girlfriend at the moment."

She smiled and winked. "My shift ends at midnight providing on your still awake by then."

He laughed, he got a good look at her. She was a pretty thing. She was tall maybe about 5'5 with long blonde curly hair. He thought for a minute she almost seemed familiar. "I don't mean to seem rude but have we met before?"

She shook her head. "No sir, I don't think so. Maybe in your dreams." She said with a wink as she left.

He left her money and a tip. He knew he has seen her before. He looked at her again as she took another customer's order. He then realized she was the lady at the airport. He clicked his tongue as he started to leave the room. There was something strange going on around here, either the lady had a twin, or she flew across town. He knew one thing she had to be a THRUSH agent, not even a normal woman would come after him that hard.

He stepped outside the bar and looked around for Illya. Not seeing the Russian he headed to his room carefully making sure he wasn't followed. He walked into his room which was a little nicer than he expected. The help apparently hung up his clothes and left his suit case on the bed. He made his way over to the bed to put up the case when he heard.

"Being careless can get you killed, Mr. Solo." The accented English voice came from around the curtains.

"Hello Illya." He said turning around to see the Russian near the window. "And don't worry I knew you were here all along."

"Sure, typical response for an unobservant American." He sighed as he walked away from the window towards his closet.

He hmphed and said. "As I said Illya I knew you were here the whole time." He frowned as Illya looked through his clothes. He smirked and said. "They say clothes make the man. If you see something you like you can borrow it, if it fits that is."

He looked back at him. "I am not interesting in wearing your clothes. I had heard of that saying that clothes make the man." He examined as pricy silk tie. "I was seeing what type of man you are, Mr. Solo." He said as he shut the closet door.

"You can call me Napoleon, Kuryakin." He said as he picked up the suit case and placed it in the closet. "So what did my clothes tell you?"

The Russian let out a sigh as he leaned up against the wall. "You wear expensive clothes, indicating that you like to live eloquence. Many of your suites and ties are extremely expensive brands suggesting that you spend most of your money on clothes further showing how you Americans love wasting money."

"Good clothes are not a waste of money, my friend." He moved some of his clothes checking for any bugs.

"Also there is a lipstick stain on the collar of one shirt and pricey cologne suggesting that you frequently try to impress the ladies."

He pulled out his shirt looking for the stain saying out loud. "I thought they got that out."

The Russian laughed. "I also see that you are very concerned about your clothes."

He frowned. "So what does a turtle neck sweater indicate?"

"My clothes are practical," He moved away from the wall. "Also there are no bugs I already checked." He pulled out a file out of his jacket and held it out to him. "Here are the floor plans to the facility."

He took them and flipped through them. "You don't waste any time do you?" He asked as he walked to the table in the corner.

"No," he added as he followed him. "I have been under cover at this THRUSH facility for some time now working in their R&D division."

"Yes I know, that's why I'm here. Command was worried since you were gone for so long without reporting."

He frowned. "Ah yes you Americans never trust a Russian, da." He leaned back in his chair. "I had a little THRUSH following me, that young woman in the hotel bar."

"Pretty little thing. I thought she was THRUSH." He looked at the file. "So we need to get their plans for the next weapon, and destroy the facility. Do you know what they are making?"

"Da, its… strange Mr. Solo, have you noticed it yet?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Not really other than I have a very grumpy Russian in my room making snide remarks."

He glared at him again and he was sure the temperature in the room dropped by ten degrees. "I am surprised that you did not notice since you commented on the lady from the bar."

"Well she did look like a lady I saw at the airport…" He trailed off. "Oh I see."

He nodded. "THURSH somehow figured out how to make clones. I'm not sure how exactly myself even though I was in the R&D division I never figured it out." He leaned over and pointed at the floor plans. "They keep all their files here." He said pointing at a square on the map. "But," He pointed at dark space. "I never found out what was kept here. I suspect that the clones are kept here."

"Is it all that woman?"

"I have seen no others. Most I have seen is three versions of that lady."

He laughed. "Are you sure they aren't triplets?"

He rolled his eyes. "Every one of these woman have the same name. I tried talking to them and got their names, Sasha Arlet. They all work at different locations and none of them remember meeting me."

"So one works at the airport, the other at the bar, and the third?"

"Works for THRUSH in the facility, she was the one I had the most dealings with she is unaware of the other hers. I asked her about them several times, she thought I was losing my mind."

He nodded. "Well something needs to be done about this. After all we can't have THRUSH building an army of women… though that isn't such a bad thought."

The Russian rolled his eyes again. "Your libido is indeed legendary."

"Oh so have heard of me? So how do we get in?"

He flipped over the map showing the lay of the land. "There is only a train that goes to it. Only select people can get in and out of there. The facility is up on top of a mountain and is too dangerous just to hike up there."

"So we need to catch a train to get there."

"Yes, getting in is one thing. Getting out is the problem."

He looked over the files. "I can figure it out, just give me some time." He got up from the table.

"Would it not be wiser if we worked together on this?" No sooner than he asked that the other agent said.

"We can escape by plane."

He blinked then said "Huh?"

He pointed at the map. "In this area is a small airport, I would guess that THRUSH is using it get supplies and people in and out of the mountains when the train is unable to travel."

He looked at the map. "I see, then how are we going to get out?"

"Helicopter, we cause a distraction and fly away as the facility burns down."

He nodded. "That is a good idea Mr. Solo, as long as we do not get shot down upon escaping."

"My luck has yet to let me down." He folded up the papers and placed them back in the file. "When is the next train?"

"After midnight tonight."

"Guarded?"

"Extremely guarded."

He bit his lip. He was never one to be worried about a plan. "Do they wear uniforms?"

"Da, they dress like an army."

"And that's how we will get on the train. We'll get rid of guards and get their clothes then get on the train."

"There will be no need in that." He said as he got up from the table and picked up his file. He headed to the door as Napoleon asked.

"And why is that?"

He smiled and said. "Check your closet again. I'll come by again in an hour." He left the room.

He opened his closet and rummaged through the clothes finding a uniform tucked in the middle of them. He pulled it out and chuckled to himself. "Illya you sly dog you."


	2. Chapter 2

The Copy Cat Affair

Chapter 2

Deep in the Austrian mountains lied the THURSH facility, several soldiers marched around the grounds waiting for any assault on the building. That is if anyone was brave or stupid enough to try.

It was ran by General Dietrich Richter he was a cold and calculating man who prided himself in his loyalty to THRUSH's cause as well as his German blood line. He lit up a cigarette as he watched his people work in the lab. He flicked off some ashes; he stood on a catwalk above the scientists watching every move they made. He counted them realizing that someone was missing.

He counted again then turned to the guard standing near him. "Do you see what I see?"

He asked as he put out his cigarette.

The guard looked nervous then said. "No sir."

He grabbed the man by the shoulder and pulled him to the edge. "Look again damn it!"

The man stiffened. Richter couldn't stand any weak willed man. "I don't see anything sir."

He pushed his head over the edge of the railing and shouted to him and the scientists. "Where is the Russian?"

The guard shivered. "He left. He said he had to go to town."

He pulled him up. "No one leaves without my permission!"

He flinched again. "I know I'm sorry it won't happen again!"

He smirked. "Your right it won't." and with that he pushed the man over the railing. The guard screamed as he hit the ground with a loud thud. He smiled and looked over his subjects. "Gentleman we have a job opening."

Richter turned around and lit another smoke as he headed back to his room. He could hear someone following him. "What do you want Arlet?"

The young woman coughed. "Sir, you really shouldn't have done that."

He turned to her so fast she almost ran into him. "I do what I please." He poked her in the shoulder. "And don't you forget it." He kept heading to his office when he heard her mumble a yes sir. "Do you know what happened to the Russian?"

"The Russian?" he heard her flip through files then answered. "No I don't. It seems he just up and left."

He growled and hit a nearby wall. "Damn it!" He huffed then put out his cigarette. "I knew it. He must have worked for U.N.C.L.E" He looked back at the scared woman. "Did you learn anything from him?"

She shook her hair. Her blonde curls bounced around and she stared at the floor. "No sir I don't."

He sighed. He reached out to her. "Sasha, Sasha." He lifted her face up with his fingers. "I have seen you talking to him. You fancied him."

She shook her head. "No I,"

"Don't lie to me!" he yelled. He grabbed her whole face with his massive hand. "I can easily replace you, Sasha. Just like all the others."

She closed her eyes. "I'm sorry he told me nothing."

He let her go. "Can't clone good help these days; I can't believe that you're so useless." He walked into his office and poured himself a drink.

She followed him in. "I'm sorry, I'll try again when he returns."

He downed his drink and throw the glass at her. "He's not coming back! You stupid girl!" She ran out of the room crying. He sat down and picked up a picture off his desk. He studied the image of the blonde woman in the photo. He ran his fingers along her face. "Sasha… why did you leave me?" He sat down the picture and picked up his phone. He dialed the main lab. "How is she today?"

The scientist on the other end paused then said. "Not good. There is less life in her today then yesterday."

He sighed. "The clones seem to be decreasing in intelligence."

"Sir as I told you before you can't push them so hard and expect great results."

He pounded his fist on the desk. "I told you I need soldiers! I don't want to baby sit, I need results."

"I can only do so much for clones. If you want better ones then stop killing them long enough for me to perfect my experiments."

He slammed the phone. He rubbed his temples he needed this army he had to beat U.N.C.L.E and return his name to its former glory.

Back at the hotel in Vienna. Illya was walking back to his room. He knew he needed to get his stolen guard uniform and head to the train yard. He frowned he still wasn't very happy about working with this Napoleon Solo character. He preferred to work by himself he kept telling Mr. Waverly that but apparently he did not want to listen to him.

He let out a sigh he made it to his room. He fiddled with his key to his room when felt someone put a gun to his head.

"Oh great." He said out loud.

"Do not move Mr. Kuryakin. Unless you want to decorate the walls with your brain." Said a female voice, "Now turn around slowly and keep your hands were I can see them."

The Russian agent held up his hands as he slowly turned around. Standing there was Sasha Arlet holding a gun and was pointing right at him. "Okay, I'm going to need you to come with me. I have orders to take you back."

He shook his head. "I'm sorry I'm not going with you."

"Oh," she said bringing back the hammer on the gun. "And why is that?"

"Because you're about to put down your gun."

"I," she started but was cut off when she heard a click noise behind her.

"Put down the gun. I really don't want to hurt a woman." Said Napoleon

She dropped the gun and she kicked it to Illya who picked it up. She grumbled as Napoleon took her by the arm.

"Come on dear lets go."

Illya opened the door the three went in. He looked back as the woman walked in with Napoleon had the gun to her back.

"Sit on the bed dear."

She sat down her arms crossed looking more like a child that was caught with her hand in the cookie jar and not an agent.

Illya checked out the gun. It was loaded and ready to go. He unloaded the bullets and tossed the empty gun behind him and put the bullets in his pocket. He looked down at the young woman looking as menacing as possible. "Look I already know who sent you."

She looked away and mumbled. "You know nothing."

He frowned and said to her. "You know I know already."

Napoleon coughed. "Would you like to fill me in, friend?"

He looked back at him a frown on his face. With a sigh he said. "She works for General Dietrich Richter. More than likely she another clone sent here by THRUSH to capture me or you."

"Well since she landed on your door steep I figure she is after you. Oh and you never thanked me either." Said Napoleon.

"Thank you for what exactly?" The Russian asked frowning even more.

Napoleon briefly wondered if all he did was frown. "For saving your bacon, friend."

Now the Russian looked confused. "Bacon? I had no bacon what are you talking about?"

The other agent laughed. "It's an expression, and weren't your interrogating her?"

The blonde man shook his head. "I have all the information I need." He nodded to the woman. "The question is what to do with her?"

The Russian was looking around the room deciding where to store the prisoner. Napoleon frowned. "I hate to tell you, friend but I learned nothing from that exchange between you two."

Illya shot him an icy look as he pulled the woman off of the bed. "And I didn't expect you too, American." He scoffed.

The woman grabbed onto the bedding and said. "Let me go or I swear I'll scream."

He hand cuffed her to the sink in the bathroom. "I mean it buster I will scream." She said.

He sighed he looked at Napoleon who still had his gun trained on her. He reached up and undid his tie, took it and wrapped it around her mouth. "Scream all you want."

He walked out of the bathroom and picked up his jacket and essential gear.

"Uhh that was my favorite tie, chum." Said Napoleon as he put his gun back in its holster.

The Russian rolled his eyes, "You shall not miss it. Let's go." He headed to the door and other agent followed him protesting.

"Hang on there, buddy. Aren't you going to tell me what's going on?" He grabbed his shoulder.

"Shhh! You Americans are so loud." He held up a finger to his mouth. That was the trouble with Americans they had to be the loudest creatures on Earth.

Napoleon shot him a dirty look. "Listen here pal we," He started but Illya started walking away. "Hey, I was still talking to you."

He turned around quickly. "We'll talk later." He pointed to his watch. "Get ready then meet me outside." He headed on down stairs.

Napoleon let out an annoyed sigh and he headed back to his room to get his stuff. He opened his door and grabbed the uniform out of the closet. Illya was lucky that he had more questions for him or else that Sasha clone would have killed him but… then again surely he could have dealt with the young woman himself. He let out a breath that he wasn't aware he was holding. Something bothered him about this Kuryakin person and he couldn't put his finger on it. He looked in the mirror and fixed his hair and sighed again. One thing was for sure that Russian was emotionally draining. He got his communicator and contacted the clean-up crew to deal with the woman locked in Illya's closet.

Illya stepped off the bottom of the steps with a smooth stride. He made his way to the front of the hotel passing the bar. He could hear laughter and music he glanced in there and saw the Sasha waitress severing guests clearly not the woman that was locked in his hotel bathroom.

He walked out the front door a little bit of snow was falling. The cold air felt great on his face and he inhaled deeply as he walked away from the hotel. He stood under a lamp post with his arms crossed watching it snow. He smiled briefly he kind of liked the snow.

He frowned when he remembered what he was going to be doing soon. He had really wished Mr. Waverly had given him more time to complete his mission before sending him help. He didn't need help, didn't want help he wanted nothing to do with this loud obnoxious American.

The door to the hotel opened up and said loud obnoxious American stepped out. He noticed him shiver as he wrapped a scarf around his neck. He headed towards him. "Boy its cold."

He scoffed. "If you think this is cold you would never survive a day in Russia." He said as he started walking.

Napoleon followed behind but not to close behind him to not raise suspicions. "Oh I called the clean-up team to arrest the clone."

"Oh." He simply said.

"You could have done it if you had your communicator. Which reminds me, what happened to yours?"

The Russian sighed. "I lost it that's all."

He hmmed as he kept walking.

"What don't trust me?" He asked looking back at him. That too was something he had been dealing with since joining U.N.C.L.E no one seemed to trust him. They all looked down on him treated him like he had a disease just because he was from the USSR. He studied Napoleon's face for a moment. He could tell the man was weighing the actions of his words before he finally said.

"No it's not that Illya. Trust is something we can't take lightly in our business. In short I trust no one." He put his hands in his pockets wishing he had gloves. "I just wish you gave me more information."

He smirked to himself. "Trouble is Mr. Solo, I trust no one either." He turned down an alley.

Napoleon knew it was time to meet up at the train yard so he picked up the pace and headed on to the yard.


End file.
